"Press the Replay Button Please..."

One of my favourite buttons on a CD or DVD player, besides the play button,is the replay/rewind one. I love pressing it to rehear a specific part of a song that i like the most or to hear again a part of the lyrics that i didn't pick up on the first,second or third time around..or to re see a special detail that i hadn't paid enough attention to during a film or re watch an image or scene that was worth seeing again because it made me feel something that i wanted to re experience.

I sometimes wish i could take this replay button with me here in real life and use it to replay scenes or pictures in my life. I'd press it to see memories that fill my heart up with warmth and some others that i should probably see again so as to keep somethings alive just as a memory,even if they are hurtful ones.

Trying to make a list of a few such examples,i came up a few clear images in my mind. The clearest of all images is the birth of all my children and especially the very first time i heard their heartbeats in early pregnancy. I'd press the replay button an endless amount of times there just so that I'd be sure to have the pictures and sounds vividly carved in my mind.

Another memory would be the first time that my family and i came to Greece on holidays after living in the States for around eleven years. I still remember the airport full of all these people who i had never met, yet i had grown up with them from a distance and the feeling of their importance was something that my parents had greatly stressed on us while i was growing up. This was one of the most moving moments in my life but more so for my parents. I don't think I've ever seen them as happy as they had been at that time.

My mother's expression when i announced to her that i was pregnant and getting married at 23 is surely another image that i would very much enjoy watching again and laugh incredibly with it as i had done back then when she almost fainted with the news.I always enjoyed shocking my parents with the way i lived and thought but this one was the best!

Happy moments with my husband which i think about more and more as time passes and I wish i had indeed paid more attention then to those moments than to all the bad ones instead. But that's the way life is i suppose..sometimes it is easier to see the greys and blacks than the bright colours.

I'd replay the times that I've passed with my closest of friends and all the laughs that we have passed together. Though there are moments of tears and anger and bitterness,I'd emphasize only on the happy moments because it's there that we brought out the very best in us..

Life is a long string of images and sounds. I don't think that i would be able to stop at a certain point and say that this is where they all end. I wish i could have the replay/rewind button on me though. Sometimes I'm so afraid that some of these images will be forgotten in the deep black hole that exists in my head. There is no replay button though..and what i see or hear today may indeed be forgotten tomorrow but i try not to let that happen..how you may ask? just by keeping a memory alive as much as i can in me...nothing else.