It is my youngest child's birthday today. My sweet Nefelh will turn four today at 4 o'clock this afternoon. Each one of my three children represent the way i was feeling when i conceived and carried them those nine remarkable months of pregnancy. This is Nefelh's story.
My Nefelh was conceived on a warm night in august five years ago. I even remember the exact date. My husband and i had been having quite a few personal problems that period and after two weeks of being apart, we both had made peace with ourselves and our relationship and we both felt full of hope that he and i were indeed going to get past whatever personal differences we had then. That night,call it sixth sense or women's intuition or just a feeling, i knew that i would conceive and i still remember the strong feeling of anticipation the few weeks following that evening. I wasn't surprised that a few days later, when we took our planned family holidays to Naxos, i started feeling queasy and nauseous all day and all night. My morning sickness lasted, as did with all my other pregnancies, my whole nine months of pregnancy. It was a small price to pay for such a miracle though.
Nefelh and i had quite a bond all throughout those nine months. I would talk to her continuously and so would her brother, sister as well as her father. She felt a tremendous flow of love from the very beginning. We didn't want to know the sex of our unborn child but i had a feeling it would be a girl. Those nine months passed quite quickly and i enjoyed every moment of being pregnant. It's an incredible feeling to know that you are responsible for the life inside you. I took care of myself as well as i could and waited anxiously for the months to pass.
The nine months passed calmly with happiness and serenity. Any personal problems that we once had were now a thing of the past. We made quite a few excursions that year together with my other two children and i was in excellent health and condition,so all five of us enjoyed ourselves..I'm including Nefelh of course. I continued working til the day before i went to have birth..until that Thursday came that is.
All of my children were born on Thursdays. I had a feeling that this one was also going to be born on a Thursday as well. Of course,almost no one believed my predictions but Nefelh and i had come to our secret agreement. I had ordered an extra closet for the new baby's clothes to be put in since there was no extra room in the house and my father finally finished it Wednesday. The day before i gave birth. That night,one o'clock Thursday morning, i remember sitting on the couch in our living room,having put all the new baby clothes that i had bought in the new wardrobe, stroking my stomach and feeling my unborn child's movements inside me. I told her at that moment that she could now come into this world...everything was ready and we were all waiting for her. A few hours later, while trying to sleep in my bed,my contractions started. It was then six in the morning.
I didn't want to go to the hospital immediately and my doctor advised me to stay at home til the contractions came every twelve minutes but not to wait more than that since it was my third birth and things would probably be much easier and faster than the other times. I,of course, being quite stubborn, decided to stay home til my older children returned from school. I wanted to kiss them goodbye...though i knew that nothing was going to happen,fear was beginning to set in. Giving birth has its share of fear anyways. At that time my contractions were every ten minutes and we left to go from one side of Athens to the other. By the time we reached mid point,the contractions were coming every three minutes and i remember with a huge grin now,how stressed my husband was,beeping his way through traffic and hoping that i wouldn't give birth right there in the car.
From the moment i entered the delivery room to the time my sweet Nefelh was born no more than thirty minutes passed. There was no time for IV,no time to practice breathing exercises, no time for anything. Nefelh was as strong willed as her mother was and she wanted to come out exactly then. After a small push and a huge feeling of relief, my daughter was born and put onto my breast, while her crying mother and father just stared at her. She was completely white skinned and her hair was blond. Her eyebrows were so lightly coloured that you couldn't even see them. She breathed quickly and tried to find something to suck on. Its incredible how babies automatically learn how to suck on anything.as soon as they are born,even though they've been doing it all the previous months as well. I looked at my newborn and introduced myself to her with a gentle voice so she knew that it was my voice she had been hearing all this time.It was the beginning of a wonderful relationship.
I then gave her to my husband who had watched the whole birth this time again as he had done with our other two children. He too was at a loss of words and just looked at her,counting her toes and fingers and wondering how this child was so light haired since both of us are quite the opposite. Actually he was even paler than the baby was but managed to keep on his feet.
Those days went by quickly and they became weeks and months and now four years have passed. My little girl resembles myself in many ways. She has quite a talent with words and expressions and can make you just there with your mouth gaping open with her comments. She rarely gets angry. She loves to be hugged and kissed and be told as well as say, how much she's loved or how much she loves you. She knows all my favourite songs and sings them with a passion. She understands when I'm upset or distracted and comes to my lap and hugs me without saying anything. Though my older daughter is by far more stunning in beauty, the youngest has her own way of attracting people's attention,even without having said a thing. Her light hair falls below her shoulders with soft curls and she walks with a jump in her step,just like I do. She always has a smile on her lips and has picked up my sometimes annoying habit of always humming or softly singing a song while walking anywhere. For me,through my eyes, she represents hope and through her character you can understand that she will be a hopeless romantic when she grows up and I'm sure she will believe that there is a pot of gold at the end of all rainbows.
When Nefelh today will blow out her birthday candles and make her wish,she'll probably wish for a new Barbie doll or new stickers which she loves sticking around the house. I will also make one for her though, just in case hers is not heard. It's the same wish i make every night for all my children and those i love, just before i go to sleep, just in case there is someone, somewhere who is listening.
Happy birthday my dear Nefelh..it's your laugh and smile that make tears of love fill my eyes..and it is your hope that makes mine still live inside of me...
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
thoughts piled together by tzotza at 4/17/2007 02:08:00 AM