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Tuesday, May 29, 2007

γυρω γυρω ολοι..


λοιπον...

ισως να ειναι βλακεια αυτο που θα πω αλλα με προβληματιζει κατι που ακουσα παλι..

μου το ειπανε δηλαδη σαν ενδειξει 'παρηγοριας' για το τερματισμο της μακροχρονιας σχεσης μου, αλλα βρε παιδια, ακρη δεν βγαζω!!!

μου λενε..

'μη στεναχωριεσαι tzotza μουι..δεν ειναι τιποτα..απλα η σχεση σας εκανε το κυκλο της.'

και σας ρωταω(ειμαι και λιγο αργοστροφη ΣΥΝ εχω και το αμερικανακι μεσα μου οπως και να το κανουμε!!) ο κυκλος δεν εχει ουτε αρχη ουτε τελος οταν τελικα σχηματιστει..ετσι δεν ειναι?

ε?

και ξανα ρωταω..

που ειναι τωρα η αρχη και το τελος αυτης της σχεσης??την βλεπει κανεις γιατι εγω δεν την βλεπω!!! μου φαινεται πως απλα γυριζει γυρω-γυρω..χωρις κανενα τελος..

κανω λαθος η απλα...

ετσι θελω να την δω εγω γιατι δεν θελω να το δω αλλιως???

Monday, May 28, 2007

Here Comes the Sun...


Today i woke up and sat a bit in front of the pc. I wanted to write something funny,happy,cheerful..i wanted this week to start off differently since it ended on such a sad tone.

There is a good side when bad things do happen you know..it helps you look at the good things with a larger thirst..a greater need..a bigger appetite. This is how I felt this morning. Even though i finished talking with a friend of mine at around 4 in the morning,i woke up at eight quite refreshed and not at all tired. It always helps when the last person you speak to at night gives you a positive feeling,dont you think?

After sitting out on the balcony for around an hour,staring at the rain falling and looking at the Parthenon that was hidden behind a veil of mist this morning,i decided that things are more than just ok. Even though they're not really, so many things to still figure out, i'm no better than i was a few months ago in the mixed up peice of thing that's in my head (and i'm not kidding myself anymore on this!),but even though all of this may sound a bit negative, the feeling i had was far from it. No negativity anywhere. I'll say it in a simple way. Everything is alright.

I like the rain. I like it when the sky is dark and gloomy and it's daytime. I like walking in the puddles when i'm coming home and i like getting my hair all wet..it's a refreshing feeling and somehow i feel at peace with it. But you know why i like the rain so much as well? It's quite simple actually..after the rain has done its thing and packed up its bags to leave, it's the sun's turn to come back up in the sky and liven everything back up. I expect it and welcome it with a warm smile. That's just the way it is.Just like this life of ours...the roundabout trip of ours called life.

Saturday, May 26, 2007

It Does Matter...

In answer to a question if it really matters if i write something or not about Amalia ,i answer..
No..
it doesnt make any essential difference if i do write something about her or not..
it wont change things..
time wont go back..
if there is no such thing in this life as an 'after life' than she wont possible learn about how any of us feel..
but i cant say that..
and most importantly..
what i write matters to one person very much..
and that person is me.

In this life where people make their appearances..
some manage to stay for a long time..
others seem that they are just unjustly passerbys..
few are those who do make the difference..
those that have that special kind of 'shine' around them..
which blinds you though youre hundreds of meters away..
those that manage to 'touch' you without ever having sat next to you..
just for these few reasons it does matter that i write something about Amalia..
something so little compared to how much ive gained from her..


Ive always believed that if we manange to make a difference in atleast one person's life during our own lifetime,
than truley we have made the difference..
Looking at Amalia's blog and all the people she has 'touched' and 'shined on'..
words are not needed..

Til we meet again Amalia....
May you rest in peace...

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Can World's Strongest Dad

Rick and Dick Hoyt

Team Hoyt - Father of the century

Rick and Dick Hoyt...

Στην Γιορτη της Μητερας, ειχα γραψει ενα post για μια μητερα που ειχα την τυχη να γνωρισω. Για να ειμαι ειλικρινης, δεν την γνωρισα ποτε αρκετα για να πιω εναν καφε μαζι της..ουτε το ονομα της δεν εμαθα ποτε. Αυτο που γνωρισα μεσα απο τις μικρες στιγμες που την εβλεπα σχεδον καθε μερα για πολλα χρονια ειναι η πραγματικη σημασια της λεξης 'μητερας' και γιαυτο το μοιρασα μαζι σας.

Χθες πηρα ενα comment απο εναν αλλον blogger..τον Michael. Βασικα μου εστειλε δυο διευθυνσεις απο το UTube που ειναι οσο σχετικα θα μπορουσε να ειναι πανω σε αυτο που εγραψα. Μας δειχνει ενας πραγματικα καταπληκτικος πατερας και ο μοναδικος του γιος. Αφου δειτε τα δυο αυτα video, θα μπορουσε να πει κανεις πως υπαρχει διαφορα μεταξυ μιας μητερας και ενος πατερα? Η αληθεια ειναι πως πραγματικα δεν θα επρεπε..

Ακουστε προσεκτικα τα λογια του Rick...και μετα του Dick..και μετα πειτε μου ποιος ειναι πραγματικα ο πιο τυχερος? Το παιδι που εχει εναν υπεροχο και selfless πατερα.. ή ο πατερας που εχει εναν καταπλητικο γιο που του εμαθε την πραγματικη εννοια της λεξης αγαπης και αφοσιωσης?

Sunday, May 20, 2007

κερδιζουνε οι....

μετα απο πολυ σκεψη( ε..οχι και τοση αλλα λεμε τωρα!!) και ωριμοτητα (καλα.. ΑΥΤΟ και αν ειναι BS!!!), αποφασισα και εγω μετα την προσκληση του void και siddhartha, να φανερωσω στο blogworld τους τρεις fantasy celebrities μου. (drum roll please...)..and the winners are....


αυτον που θα ηθελα να ειχα την πρωτη μου 'επαφη'..πνευματικη και σωματικη..θα ηταν φυσικα my life long passion..απο την εφηβεια μου φυσικα τον ερωτευτηκα και οσο και να περασανε τα χρονια, με εκεινων πρωτο ενιωσα ενα 'τσιμπημα' στην καρδια μου..οχι πρωτα απο την εμφανιση του, αλλα απο τους στιχους του και την εσωτερικη του θλιψη... naturally Morrissey....



θα συμφωνησω με την blog φιλη μου aniaris πως θα ηθελα να ζησω μια ζωη κοντα και να κανω παιδια με εναν πραγματικα εξυπνο ανδρα σαν το John Malkovich..introductions not needed...




για την θεση του 'secret lover-a jump but what a jump baby!!' θα διαλεγα καποιον που φυσικα δεν θα ειχε και πολλα αλλα intellectual talents οr sides (αλλα χαρισματα θα ειχε though!!).. για αυτην την θεση δεν τα χρειαζεται anyways..who better than Robbie Williams...


μου ζητησε και ο void να βαλω και αλλα 'spicey' details αλλα λεω να κρατησω ενα επιπεδο.. φτανει που διαλεξα τον robbie!!! (αλλα ισχυει void αυτο που σου ειπα στο post σου!!!)

next victims are industrial daisies,love&poison and topatsiouri...i cant wait!!!!

Monday, May 14, 2007

Καθρεφτη..καθρεφτακι μου..


με κοιταω στον καθρεφτη..
και τι βλεπω νομιζεις?
δεν βλεπω τα καστανα μου ματια..
τα χειλια μου..
τα μακρια μαλλια μου..
τα φρυδια μου..
τα μικρα σημαδια που εχει αρχισει να αφηνει ο χρονος πανω μου..

δεν βλεπω πραγματικα κανενα απο αυτα...
τιποτα απολυτος..

βλεπω ακομη το νεο κοριτσι που ηθελε και τα εσπαγε ολα..
που αντιμετωπιζε τα παντα με γελια και χαμογελα..
αλλα κρυφα εκλαιγε..
μονη της..
μεσα της..

ειναι κακο που ακομη μετα απο τοσα χρονια..
ακομη μετα απο τοσες καταστασεις και δυσκολιες που εχουνε παρασει πανω μου..
και ακομη τοσες που περνω και σηγουρα αλλες τοσες που θα ερθουνε και στο μελλον..
που ακομη οταν με βλεπω..
οταν με βλεπω στον καθρεφτη..
την ιδια εικονα βλεπω?
το κοριτσι που απλα ηθελε να ακουει δυνατα την μουσικη..
και να περναει την ζωη της με την σκεψη πως δεν πρεπει να τα παιρνουμε και ολα τοσο σοβαρα..
που δεν τρεχει και τιποτα αν δεν στρωσει το κρεβατι της το πρωι..
και που δεν πρεπει να αφησει τα 'must' και 'must nots' τον αλλον να την οδηγουν..
πειραζει που αυτο το κοριτσι ειμαι ακομη εγω?

για πολυ καιρο ετσι πιστευα ομως..
πως πειραζε..
και δεν εβλεπα την γνωστη μου φατσα πια..
και νομιζα πως ο καθρεφτης μου ειχε λερωθει..
γιαυτο δεν με εβλεπα καλα..
επιτελος το καταλαβα ομως..
αυτη που εβλεπα τοσα χρονια και που βλεπω πια παλι στο καθρεφτακι μου...
ειναι αυτη που κανω την καλυτερη παρεα μαζι..
ξαφνικα ξαναγυρισε..
ευτηχως ελειψε για λιγο..
και με χαμογελω οταν με κοιταω τωρα..
welcome back baby!!!

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Don't Forget Them Please...

Driving past my old job the day before,i was once again reminded of a common scene that i had often seen there.

Many times,as i was hurrying not to be late for my lessons at the school i worked in, i would notice a woman in her early sixties,holding over her shoulder a young man. The first time i saw her,i didn't get a very good look at her or of him. They were just getting into a taxi and i was just left with the scene and a few open questions in my mind.

A few days after, again i was in a hurry for the same reasons (some things never do change) and i again noticed the woman waiting at the side of the street,holding a young man over her shoulder. This time curiosity got the better of me and i stayed at the entrance of the building and observed the woman.

The woman was indeed in her early sixties. She was quite short,with hair that had gone grey that was pulled back into a tight knot at the back of her neck. She was dressed in black from head to toes. She was patiently looking up the street and waiting for the taxi to once again come (this i saw later on) Her face had deep cracks in it but her eyes were attentive but impatient. She was mumbling something. The boy she was carrying was around twenty years old and was moving his arms around but no voice could be heard. Besides the constant jerking movement from his arms and from his head,he was quiet and patiently laid there,across this woman's shoulder. Soon enough, the taxi came,the driver got out,opened the door and the woman placed the young man in, got in herself and they all drove away.

I remember standing there,by the entrance of the building,thinking and wondering about what i had seen.

A few days later,the scene was again repeated.

The next time it happened though i stopped right next to the woman and asked her if i could help her and take her somewhere. She looked at me and politely smiled and told me there was no need since she was waiting for a taxi to come pick her up. The young man was still over her shoulders and mumbling something very softly to himself that was not at all clear and the woman held on to him strongly and firmly. I offered again and she once again refused with the same politeness and soon enough the taxi came again and the scene i had seen the other days before was once again repeated.

As i was referring to this with a colleague of mine i found out the details that were missing from the story. The woman that i had seen was in fact holding her son over her shoulders. Her son suffered from cerebral palsy (εγκεφαλικη δυσλειτουργια)and had very little control over his arms and was confined to a wheelchair, as well as being mentally retarded to a very large extent. In other words, he was completely dependant on his mother for his basic survivor.

In order to help him keep his limbs in some kind of shape,his mother took him every other day to have some kind of physiotherapy to keep whatever limited movement he did have. Since the wheelchair that the young man had was not portable,the mother was obliged to carry him every time they had to take a cab to go for therapy and then carry him back home when they returned and since money was an issue,the woman couldn't afford to have the taxi come to her house and pick her and her son up, so she would carry him to where they had decided to meet.

Today is mothers day. All of us will either buy our mothers some flowers or wish her a happy mothers day with a kiss. I don't like these kinds of holidays. They are made to take advantage of all of us and our sentiment for profitable reasons but if i don't wish my mother tomorrow, even though she knows my stand,shell get upset and not talk to me for a week. So to avoid all of this i do what every child would, but i always remember the woman who i just described to you and all the others just like her.

Shell never hear the words 'Χρονια πολλα μαμα" because her son can barely even keep his head up by himself but she deserves to hear it so much more than my mom does.It may sound hard but this is the truth. I show my mom in different ways i care for her and she knows that.This mother though doesn't have the same opportunity.Shouldn't she though?

Since I've become a mom..since i had the privilege of becoming a mother fifteen plus years ago, i see things so much more differently. i really could care less if my children don't say happy mothers day to me tomorrow. i really don't. i don't wait for a special day to come to wait for them to tell me how much they love me. I get it from them on a daily basis. Besides, the way i see it,I'm the one who should be grateful that i have these three individuals in my life, that have taught me and will still teach me so much, that they have given me so much love and i have felt myself so full of love that nothing else in the world could ever compensate for..mothers day should remind us mothers of the precious gift we have..not the other way around.

For all the mothers who go through a daily battle to keep their children's self respect intact.. for all the mothers that have a daily fight to win because of all the difficulties that life has unfairly given to them.. to all the mothers who are mothers in all the sense of the word but who few of us have the chance of meeting,much less acknowledging.. happy mothers day. These mothers have showed all of us what it is to be a real mother and being a real mother means to be selfless. to be completely selfless.

So if you happen to know any mother who is in any kind of similar situation,or even if you see her in the street,take a few minutes out and say happy mothers day to her. You can not imagine what pleasure you will give her. trust me. i know from personal experience.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

αδυναμιες ειναι αυτες...


Ανθρωπος ειμαι και εγω..
τις αδυναμιες μου τις εχω..

η σοκολατα ειναι μια απο αυτες..
καλη παρηγορια δεν λεω..
εκεινη την στιγμη που την τρωω ειναι λες και μου φευγουνε ολες οι εννοιες..
λιωνει μεσα στο στομα μου και με γεμιζει οπως νομιζω (οπως θελω να νομιζω if i'm honest with myself)εκεινη την στιγμη..
ετσι πιστευω τοτε δηλαδη..
μια χαρα..
μολις τελειωσει ομως,
και η γλύκα της ειναι ακομη εντονη στην σκεψη και στον ουρανισκο μου..
αρχιζουνε οι τυψεις..
και σκεφτομαι πως πάει παλι η διαιτα
και τι ωραια που θα ειναι το καινουργιο μου σπιρακι που θα βγει σε μια μερα..
και θα σιωπηλα ρουφιανευει την βλακεια μου..
oh well..
imperfections and weaknesses are for people anyways..

και προχωραω στην αλλη μου μεγαλη αδυναμια..

σαυτους τους 10-15 αντε 20 ανθρωπους γυρω μου που τους αγαπω τοσο πολυ..
που ο,τι και να μου ζητησουνε,θα γινω κομματια να το κανω..
ισως να ειναι βλακεια που το ξερουνε αυτο..
και ισως καποιες φορες να το εκμεταλευονται..
αλλα δεν με πειραζει..
τις πιο πολλες φορες δηλαδη.. :)

αυτοι οι 'elite' αποτελουνται απο τα παιδακια μου,
τα αδελφια μου(και τα δυο αυτα groups ειναι πολλοι βρε!!),
ο πρωην(almost)husband μου(αν αυτο ειναι καλο η μαλακια ακομη δεν το εχω ξεκαθαρισει μεσα μου αλλα μεχρι να γινει αυτο..και ΑΝ γινει ποτε, θα παραμενει μια μεγαααλη αδυναμια μου..please feel free to moutzosin me..i like constructive critisim!)
και μετα οι φιλοι μου..
μερικοι ειναι καρδιακοι και κολλητοι μου που δεν τους αλλαζω με τιποτα στον κοσμο ολον,
και ειμαι more than lucky to have in my life,
ενας ομως εχει γινει τελευταιος καπως παραπανω απο πλατωνικος φιλος αλλα και παλι φιλος-φιλος(ναι ναι!!και τετοιο εχει ο μπαξες!!ακομη δεν χωρισα καλα καλα αλλά το αποκτισα και αυτο στο 'collection' μου..τρομαρα μου)..
για ολους γινομαι ενα χαλί(οχι χάλι) να με πατησουνε ενα πραγμα..(tell me that you are all quite impressed with my greek today,e??)
και ρωταω τις προαλλες τον φιλο μου και 'καποιες φορες που εχει τυχει κατι παραπανω απο μονο φιλο μου'(καταλαβαινετε εσεις..)
"θα ξανα βρεθουμε?"και περιμενω την απαντηση..ηξερα την απαντηση απο πριν αλλα επρεπε να ξεκαθαριστουνε τα πραγματα μεταξι μας..για τυπικους λογους..
και εκεινος απανταει πολυ 'λυρικα'..
"μπααα..δεν το κοβω"
και η yours truly μενει καγκελο..
οχι πως περιμενα αλλη εξελιξη στα πραγματα (ισως να ηθελα αλλα δεν γινοτανε..δεν γινοτανε να ημαστε και τα δυο..ετσι λεει αυτος..εμενα δεν με πολυ ρωτησα να ειμαι ειλικρινης)
αλλα με τετοια λογια..και τοσο καπως..ξερω εγω..εχω και το damned romantic side of me..
μου αφησε μια πολυ πικρη γευση στο στομα..
τοσο πολυ που ουτε την μιση μερεντα που εχω κατεβασει με το κουταλι της σουπας δεν εχει καταφερει να διωξει (με βλεπω να μεταφορφωνομαι σε gigantic zit αυριο το πρωι!!)
αλλα ειπαμε..
αδυναμιες ειναι αυτες..
το ξερει πως αυριο και παλι θα ειμαι η ιδια απεναντι του..
και εκεινος με μενα..και γιατι να μην ειναι αλλωστε?
εγω μια χαρα του εκατσ..oups!!!..i mean φερθηκα!!(να μη βγαλω μια γυναικεια κατινια?τοσο επιπεδο να κρατησω πια?μονο αυτη την μικρουλικη κακιουλα και μετα θα ειμαι και παλι η γλυκια tzotza,ok?και μην λετε πως δεν τα ηθελε και μενα ο κωλος μου..το ηθελε και πολυ μαλιστα για να ειμαι και completely honest)

αχ αυτες οι αδυναμιες..
cant live with them..
cant live without them either!!!

δεν πειραζει ομως..
και απο δευτερα παλι διαιτα!!!!


ps this post was written for purely entertaining purposes..γιαυτο και το εγραψα και στα ελληνικα παιδια!! το παν στην ζωη ειναι να βλεπεις τον εαυτο σου και τις καταστασεις και απο την κομικη τους πλευρα (οταν σε παιρνει φυσικα..και να μη σε παιρνει,ε, θα το παλεψω anyways!!!!) φιλια!!!

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

a Red, a Pink and a White Heart-Shaped Balloon...


Today i spent most of the morning outside on my balcony, gazing at all the passersby. I live right behind the Athens Metro stop in Peristeri and most days the constant hum of people and traffic is anything but a comfort. Today though was unlike all the other days. Today people were carrying balloons..red, pink and white ones shaped like hearts. It was more than interesting to see. Young people,elderly people,businessmen,fashionable women,young children,teenagers and the like were all proudly carrying at least one helium filled balloon. Today(yesterday by the time i finish this) was the telethon to collect money for the construction of a hospital for children who are unfortunate enough to suffer from cancer. In Peristeri in an effort to raise money,balloons were sold for two euros a piece and i can happily say that it was a huge success.

Don't get me wrong.I dislike telethons. I find the fact that those who are 'fortunate' enough to have economic wealth and stability enjoy getting the public attention that they so much desire and go on television once a year,casually and vainly stating that they 'donate' great sums money,with a huge smug look on their face, completely nerve breaking! I also am greatly disturbed by the fact that many of us have to see other people's despair and difficult situations to get some sense into us and give a handful of coins to help. It is truly very pitiful. Not to forget the fact that the state has the obligation to provide basic facilities to all its tax paying citizens. This is another big issue that needs to be asked.

In America,every Labor Day (an official holiday) the well known comedian Jerry Lewis holds a telethon which lasts for more than twenty four hours of direct broadcasting to raise money for children with muscular dystrophy. I have sad memories of this telethon. Endless film about ill children who eventually after they do become completely handicapped in wheelchairs, loose their battle to survive was shown...even in the hardest of people,the scenes would break you..all of this in the medias cold game to raise sentiment and 'gain a buck more.' There is a line though that must not be passed but who in their right mind dares to draw it out? Another big question left unanswered...

This year though, the balloon idea was different. There is something about a balloon that makes all of us,young or not,feel quite good inside. Today was the perfect excuse for all the 'older and more serious' of people to buy and carry their balloons in public,without thinking of ridiculous 'what if' clauses.

After finishing with my lessons tonite, at round ten o'clock,i headed to the St.Antonh square with my two daughters. It was truly a beautiful sight. There were hundreds of people everywhere,holding these pink,red and white heart shaped balloons. I bought ten balloons for my children. As we were patiently waiting in line to have them blown up, a young college student gave me the twenty five balloons he had just bought and my daughters were extremely happy that they were holding such big bunches.(actually my youngest was kind of afraid of getting lifted up from the balloons so i held half of them for her..it's such a delight when they are still so innocent you know).

Having all three of us balloons tied around our wrists,we headed towards the stage they had set up and danced to the music that was being played. I wish i could express how beautiful everything was. I wanted to share that image with a close friend of mine and i smsed him..nothing though could compare to the feeling and to the image of the sea of balloons all around.(καιρο εχω να νιωσω τετοια αισθηση χαρας και αισιοδοξιας απο αλλον περα απο τα παιδια μου και μετρημενες περιπτωσεις.)

Maybe I'm a bit overacting..maybe I'm a bit too emotional because things are going on in my life that are influencing me like that..i don't know..all i know is that when the time to let go of all our balloons came, and everybody was looking into the dark sky in wonder and fascination as we all let go of all our balloons, i looked over at my two daughters first and saw a happy smile on their young faces and their eyes had a special twinkle in them. I also looked at the other people around me and they too, had the same look. Usually when a balloon is 'lost' in the sky, children feel disappointed. It's been more than a few times that I've had to buy second balloons after having lost the first ones. This time was different though. These balloons were symbols of hope. And our hope had to soar into the limitless sky..to have them take off for all the children everywhere and especially these special children..

As I'm writing this,i have such a warm feeling of satisfaction..not because something has been essentially established..we still have a far and long way to go for that to happen but because i feel this feeling of hope in people..in the people i saw tonight..even if it was for a moment..even if it took a red,a pink and a white heart shaped balloon to do it..it was there..and it was truly quite a moment...

Thursday, May 3, 2007

Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep...

You're the one that waits for me every evening when i go to sleep..
your touch against my cheek always feels like a soft caress..a warm welcome..
i put my arms around you and hold you tight..
just to feel that i am holding something near..
and you're always there..
day in and day out..
no other companion would ever be so loyal..

you know all my secrets..
my every thought..
my every worry..
all my doubts and insecurities because as i do lay my head on you every evening and feel the comfort of your familiar touch..
all my thoughts come into mind..
and you feel them coming through me..

as my body relaxes from the tension of the day
all the feelings I've avoided have nowhere to hide now,
and i become an open book in front of myself..
and in front of you..

you feel my tears fall on you
and the pain that many times i do feel..
and yes,those few selective times when i do ask from whoever it is that's up there or around us,
from this 'whoever' who seems to be able to pull the strings sometimes,
so unjustly and cruelly,
you hear me asking for my something,
my wish,
my last hope for something which many people would call it prayer..
i call it wishful thinking..
and sometimes even hope...

who would expect that something as lifeless as a pillow would have so much significance..
but I've been thinking about this the last few nights..
where it seems that the only comfort i can get from anything is only from my pillow.
kind of sad you think?
kind of pitiful or maybe even desperate?
maybe it is..
but who cares..
after all great falls, great things are made again..
so ill just stick to my pillow and make the best of it..
and you know what?
besides holding this messed up head of mine at night so i don't get a painful kink in my neck,
there's also also another advantage..
it doesn't talk back!!

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

'Tι Ομο'φο Φεγγά'ι!!!'

It was a typical weekday.

I woke up in the morning with the rude sound of both my alarm clocks..I've started setting two of them the last two weeks or so..waking up has gotten as difficult as falling asleep has..i wonder what the next step will be...

After all the domestic chores were finished(phase one),the children returned from school and the next phase of the day started..reading,writing,refereeing the arguments between the two younger ladies of the house, negotiations with the older one of the three whether he could go for a quick round at the Internet cafe with his friends even though it was a school day...

Phase three then started which is made up of everything that exists outside the house..the swimming team,guitar lessons,polo practice,my private lessons,the supermarket and whatever else had found its own way on my list of things to do during the course of the day.

During all of these three stages, my mind follows its own course..what has to be paid when and how much..deadlines..what the hell i am going to cook the next day..i really do need to call my hairdresser to fix my hair again..the question of why i miss him so much if i 'think' I'm not in love with him anymore (read my other posts..i refer to him a lot)..is that a wrinkle around my eyes?..don't forget the dentist appointment..change the sheets..god girl!!go get your legs waxed..did i remember to turn off the iron before i left home?..and on and on and on...

When i finally got home that evening at around ten o'clock,I'm not exaggerating when i say that i was feeling a little bit more than just sorry for myself as i carried my bag,two huge swimming bags,two bags from the supermarket,my car and house keys and at the same time trying hold my youngest daughter's hand who has become quite a bit of a rebel lately and thinks she can 'dash' across the street while 'safely' avoiding the cars..

As we finally touched ground on the wide pavement in front of our house,my daughter looked up in the sky and said to me.."κοιτα μαμα τι ομοφο ειναι το φεγγάι!" (ειναι καπως ψευδη και δεν λεει το 'ρ' πολλες φορες..ειναι μικρη ακομη..4 χρονων..θα διορθωθει..ελπιζω..).

I looked at her at moment. How many other times had i told her the same thing i wondered..enough for her to do it on her own though..i felt like all χαζομαμαδες do...proud..

i hadn't noticed the moon..i hadn't noticed a lot of things that day actually..i was too caught up with everything else,in things which i 'thought' were the most important on my 'list of things not to forget'..how wrong i was...

I dropped all the things i was carrying at that point on the pavement and looked up at the moon. It wasn't a full moon..it looked like a cookie with a bite missing but at that point i thought it was one of the most beautiful moons i had ever seen..

you see ,it doesn't matter what you see really..its just a matter of perception..they do say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder..what a beautiful moon it was...